It's just a matter of time before MTV goes after that demo

7 year old boy and Grandparents at Reagan

Grandmom: We're going to Texas, NOT Mexico
Kid: Same thing.

and later

Kid: Are we gonna get on the Real World?

Just remembered I also wanted to post this

This must be misheard:

One of four professional-looking men in suits walking down Nebraska Ave at midnight on a Saturday:

"Do I have the biggest asshole ever?"

Hey! I'm only doing this blog until I hit the powerball

A Defense agency headquarters, Ft. Belvoir

"The lottery is the retirement plan for those that are mentally challenged."

That's kind of like exercise

"I'm on a really great regimen now, I found some multivitamins I really love at Whole Foods"

-- One middle aged woman to another over dinner at Tara Thai

I think you mean two old men. Two old piano men.

Two 20 somethings:

Guy 1 - "Why is the Metro so crowded tonight?"
Guy 2 - "Elton John and Billy Joel are playing tonight."
Guy 1 - "Who are they?"
Guy 2 - "I don't know. Two old guys."

Magneto strikes again!

At the navy yard metro station:

Girl: Ugh, I demagnetized my card. Now I have to mail it to metro center. :looks at friend: Oorrrr, do you think I could like remagnetize it? Like, with a magnet?"

Free advertising!

Incoming Freshman Girl: "Can I say that Cosi's is the reason I can't keep kosher?"

--GW card office

Our great presidents weren't much for standing

Two high schoolers walking to the Jefferson Memorial:

Girl: "Is this the dude in the really big chair?"

Guy: "No, but I think this dude is in a chair."

A final RIP for MJ

Cute little black girl: "Mom who is this white woman that died?"

Mother looking down at cover of NY Post: "That's Michael Jackson, he's a black man."

News shop in Farragut.

Wait, Jesus was in Chinatown?

Guy at 7th and H Chinatown stoplight waiting to cross the street. Someone bumps into him. Guy exasperated:

"Jesus christ, this place is becoming Times Square!"

My friendship can be bought with cookies

Man: "Well, I guess I'm a dickhead then." He pauses for a second and then grabs a bag of cookies off the table. "But wait, dickheads don't give out cookies, so who wants a cookie?"

--West End

A girl can dream, can't she?

Overheard in front of the American History museum, emanating from a tourist family.

Mother - "Honey, I don't think those birds are gonna let you touch them."
Little Girl - "I WANNA BE SNOW WHITE!"

But not Megatron. He's dead to me.

Couple arguing:

Man: I'm very sentimental.
Woman: Yeah, but only about material things that don't exist anymore!
Man: That's not true. I'm also sentimental about people. Like, for example, Optimus Prime.

--Arlington

Mayor XXX?

Tourist, looking at photo of Fenty and Obama eating at Ben's Chili Bowl:
"Is that the president having lunch with Vin Diesel?"

Understanding of female anatomy fail

Three female coworkers discussing their disbelief of the TLC show "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant." Male co-worker chimes in:

"...I mean, it's kinda just like the people who eat a bunch of hot dogs in those contests. Where do all the hot dogs go?"

I could use some context here - and a catechism

One woman to another: Well, all the other Catholics in my family are Puerto-Rican sized.

Overheard at City Club of Washington D.C.

I know my French is a little rusty, but...

...at Third Edition in Georgetown:

Girl 1: "No, I have no date. My life is pathetic."
Girl 2: "It's not pathetic, it's just missing a certain je ne sais quoi."
Girl 1: "And by je ne sais quoi, you mean cock, right?

Didn't know they let frat boys be teachers

Man talking to group of women

"Yeah, I'm a third grade teacher. So I drink A LOT"

They're made by Germans, so they gotta be good.

Mom to children at Target (Alexandria):

Who put the sham-wows in the cart? Who!? You people will believe anything you see on TV.

Barack's Row?

Group of late-teens/early 20s (possibly Republican interns), at Matchbox, on 8th Street SE:

Girl (to the rest of the table): "I mean, he's only been President for a couple of months. What has he done to deserve having an area of the city named after him?"

Boy: "I know, right!?!"

I think by now you recognize this guy.

On a crowded green and yellow line train pulling up to a very full Chinatown/Gallery Place platform.

Driver, in a very reasonable tone: "alright now, you people want to get off this train onto the platform. There are a whole lot of people on the platform who want to get on this train. [perfectly timed pause] There is a conflict there. You people on the train, however, have the upper hand. Use it responsibly and have a great day"

Those are two things I'd like to avoid and I'm straight.

overheard downtown, a (presumably) gay man on his cell phone:

"I figure I'm safe. I can't serve in the military, I can't get married. It's awesome!"

What a pain in the ass

Late forty-ish guy concluding business sounding cell phone call:

"So I heard you know all about my hemorrhoids now."

- Overheard outside Pentagon City Mall on Thursday

If there's no Forever 21 I'm not interested.

Outside Farragut North entrance (Connecticut & K), two intern-age girls, one pulling a suitcase.

Girl not pulling a suitcase says:

"Oh, don't get too excited. It's not a real mall, it has grass."

No more Gossip Girl similes!

Teenage girl: "He's like an English Chuck Bass...(awkward pause)...except that Chuck Bass is British."

-overheard at Wednesday's Santigold concert at the 9:30 Club

All aboard the twitter train

We're on the twitter! Follow us at: http://twitter.com/eavesdropdc

The Soviets had it so rough

Overheard at the Van Ness Metro:

Two new interns stop at the bottom of the broken escalator:

Intern 1: Oh, no, they didn't turn this into stairs.
Intern 2: Yeah, its like Communism! We have to walk up!

You aren't talking about the metro, are you?

It’s like cobweb city down there. Which is why I read all that smut - got to keep it moist.
--Overheard on the metro

What's in the box?!?!

Balding 50 year old man in serious business suit to colleagues walking down 7th Street in Chinatown:

"It all started with Dick in a Box..."

Not a bad place to draw the line, I guess.

Three people, one guy, two girls waiting for a table at a downtown resturant.

Girl 1. That waiter is hot, I'd go down on him.
Girl 2. Me too, he's yummy.
Guy. I'd give him a hug.
Girls laugh
Guy. I'm trying to be a metrosexual but I draw the line at oral sex.

It is always good to dream big

"My goal for the summer: catch hepatitis in the real world dc hot tub"

Sounds like a theme for a birthday party to me

Two guys, 20's, grilling on their front porch:

Guy #1: I think I should have a holiday. You know, like a day where everyone does the stuff that I like to do.

Guy #2: Like what? Smoke cigarettes and watch porn?

Making up for the severe lack of recent posts with this winner

Overheard in a nail salon in Dupont:

group of girls celebrating an occasion with a group mani/pedi...

girl 1: No, really, I use Plan B all the time...

group laughs

girl 2: Honey, have you ever considered getting a plan A?

We are slackers

two guys and a girl outside a bar in foggy bottom,

Guy 1: What do you guys want to do?

Guy 2: Melt.

Unlike you.

In Forever 21 fitting room, at Pentagon City:

Teenage girl 1: Oh my god, I hate you, everything looks good on you.
Teenage girl 2: No, not really, I just get the right size.

Century fail.

Archives security guard talking about the Declaration of Independence, Bill of Rights and US Constitution:

"No flash phototgraphy. No white light of any kind. It will damage the parchment. All of these documents are the originals from the 17th century..."

--National Archives

It's the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine)

"Yeah, see he's a Christian and he's does all this youth ministry stuff so I'm just gonna read the whole thing and catch up!"

-Woman buying a copy of 'The Complete Idiots Guide to the Book of Revelation" at Safeway